Friday, July 15, 2005

UPDATE: Name that celebrity

This was the view from the front ... later in the night.

Now don't you think some of you were a little harsh on Pam.


At 3:07 PM, Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

courtney love looks fab in that foto

At 4:29 PM, Blogger jsbankston said...

The one on the left, with the Charlie the Tuna lips and mouth, looks like a cadaver that's been on the slab a few days. And I should know!

Or maybe she's the spokesmodel for Brighton, England.

All I know is I'd sell my soul to be able to come up with some clever and vulgar lyrics to "Candle in the Wind" right now.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger jsbankston said...

The one on the left looks like Cayetana, Duquesa de Alba.

At 5:02 PM, Blogger jsbankston said...

I meant mundo/1998/10/re101698.html

At 5:29 PM, Blogger tj1972 said...

Maybe we were harsh, but only in comparison to the other lady in this picture who appears to be wearing a Halloween mask.

At 8:07 AM, Blogger jsbankston said...

I think between the two of them they have more plastic products than DuPont labs! It's like a Tupperware party.

At 10:22 AM, Blogger incognato said...

Yeah, completely different look from the front.

Courtney Love, lol. That's a good one.

I thought it was a man at first, despite the bare breastages.

That's a MAN, man!

At 7:15 PM, Blogger jsbankston said...

This is an old blog of mine, from when I worked at the downtown Austin Public Library. I think it dovetails nicely into this:

Author: James Bankston
Date: 03-06-05 00:23

It was a typical Saturday at the Library today. We had to check out long lines of people, most of whom were confused and clueless.

There were the paranoid types, who, instead of returning their books to the drop box, come to the Circulation Desk and slow us down, insisting we check the books back in in front of them, one by one, so they can be sure the Library isn't secretly charging them late fees.

Then there are the patrons who bring us huge stacks of books, LPs, DVDs, video-tapes, CDs, and books on tape, some of which they want checked back in, some they want to check out, some they want renewed, some they want done on their library cards, some they want done on their spouse's card or their kid's card.

The catch is, these people assume librarians possess psychic powers, and apparently think we know what their intentions are without them having to tell us first. This forces us to have to redo procedures and start over from scratch again and again, and is a real pain, especially since we're working on obsolete 20-year-old software that is very user-unfriendly.

There was one guy I waited on who was short, a bit scruffy, who was wearing a cap and non-descript slacker clothes, and whose face and build reminded me of my friend Chad Miller. He had a voice raspy from cigarettes and ugly tattoos on his forearm.

He said he had some fines he needed to pay, and he needed to change the information on his record.He handed me his license.

SCRUFFY GUY--I changed my first name.

(I looked at his license. It said "Dwight Alan Such-and-such." I could hardly blame him. If I had a dorky name like "Dwight" I'd change it too. I figured a neo-hippie like this guy would probably have changed his name to some silly Granola-ish moniker like "Jeremiah Starflower" or some such.)

JSB-- (Typing and tapping.) ---Hmm. I'm not seeing a record for a "Dwight such-and-such" in here.

SG--Oh, that's 'cause that's my new name. I should be in there under my old name...Charlotte.


SG--Yeah, and my address has changed, my driver's license has changed, and my phone number has changed. (Laughs.) Everything has changed!

JSB--Yeah, I would...uh...imagine so.

I should've asked him/her to whip it out and show everyone what a store-bought pecker looks like. I seem to recall there was a photo of one in my college "Human Sexuality" textbook and the thing looked like a rotting fragment of suet.

I'm just kicking myself that I missed what will probably prove my only opertunity to get up and scream, "SHE'S A MAN, BABY!"

At 8:21 PM, Blogger jsbankston said...

Dear God--I meant "opportunity." How did that slip past me?

At 7:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, nice to see Pam consorting with the (in) famous Amanda Lepore, the "Number One Transexual in the World". She's quite a fix on the gay club scene in NYC. If you'd like to find out more about Miss Lepore, here's her site:


At 7:25 AM, Anonymous James said...

fixture, not fix. you get the drift.

At 11:38 PM, Blogger Martin McFriend said...

Katherine Hepburn???

At 11:41 AM, Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

YOU gotta update...this photo scares the shit out of me everytime i come to your blog!!


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