Sunday, August 07, 2005

All things being even

I am getting bored of the reality shows where you take rich, entitled individuals and put them in regular America for a couple of weeks. If our country took everyone's salary and distributed it evenly, each person would make $37,784 yearly. Here's the show I want to see:

  • Take 20 people of the same age, who have no kids and no partner
  • Track them for five years
  • Require them to turn in a current resume at the start. None of the information on those documents is allowed to be used for the next five years.
  • Randomly place them in similar communities
  • Guarantee that they will make at least $37,784 each year, no matter what jobs they do
  • Not allow them to work/generate money in an area where they have previously made any money (i.e. working the counter at 7-Eleven; trading stocks on Wall Street)
  • Not allow them to accept/generate money through any previous personal or historical connections (i.e. Joe went to boarding school with Sam, Sam's friend offers Joe a job; Jessie receives an inheritance)
  • Not allow them to reveal what they are doing to anyone
  • Those who break any of these rules, do anything illegal to earn a salary or accept unearned money to maintain, are eliminated

The winner is the person whose average salary over those five years is the greatest. (Not the person with the most assets at the end of five years.) The winner receives 10 million plus they get to keep their wages.

I am now accepting meetings for Trading Places: Not Starring Eddie Murphy.


At 2:44 PM, Blogger jsbankston said...

I'd just like you to force somebody to pay me at least $37,784 a year, because I've never come remotely close to making even that, and I keep hearing how I should be making my age in salary at very least (which would still be only $41K).

At first your plan sounded a bit like Huey Long's old "Share the Wealth" plan from the 1930s.

Still, I don't know as I'd want to play along with that game. Most of the jobs I've had have had nothing at all to do with my skills, but I would hate to have to intentionally take yet another job that didn't involve, say, my writing skills. If I had to work like that for five years I'd be ready to eat a bullet.

And don't get me on a rant about the ignorant yuppies!

At 10:20 AM, Blogger princessmalin said...

i'd like to add a requirement: that these peeps, whoever they may be, not be allowed to consume anything than what's in their fridge -- contents to be supplied by the producers. no fast food. no crappy food. just deliciously fresh produce, meats, etc. etc. so in addition to winning millions, they might actually figure out how to eat well.

At 2:16 PM, Blogger Martin McFriend said...

Also, they aren't allowed to have sex. Let's make things hard on them. Payout is $100 million, btw.

At 2:20 PM, Blogger jsbankston said...

$100 million???!!! Hell, you could throw Little Elvis in a wood chopper for all I care if'n you're doling out that kinda cheese!


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